Wow! A bunch of things change over a few years time. I am now a mother of 5. Two boys and three girls. Recently diagnosed with two forms of arthritis, which could be a blog all it's own. Life has a way of sneaking up on you and before you know it things get dumped upside down. It all started a couple years ago when I was told I was pregnant. I was done 8 years earlier and had a son leaving soon on a mission. To say I was a wreck would be sugar coating it, but I was.
I could have easily been classified as crazy, or so it felt. Starting over with a new baby was not in my grand plan and to be having a baby while my oldest was on a mission put me in a stereo type of Mormon moms that I was not fond of. I love my kids and have always put being their mom as my top priority. I work graveyards so I don't miss anything important and volunteered a little here and there to be involved, but mostly I attended plays, dance classes, soccer games, softball games, band concerts, and piano recitals, with a few debate competitions and other minor things thrown in from time to time. I was sure at the time that nothing would be right again.
I was SO wrong. My son Jonathan left on November 2, 2011. It was heartbreaking to say the least but I had plenty to keep reminding me that I had to GET IT TOGETHER! My 5th child entered our family on January 20, 2012 and made a deep impact on myself and the rest of my family. She was little and beautiful and immediately helped all of us focus on whats important. I loved her the moment they laid her on my chest and I looked into her eyes that seemed to say I am here, finally! Happiness and guilt washed over me at the same time. I had regret for all the negative emotion I had held onto for the past nine months, but at the same time all the joy a new mom has holding a gift from heaven. Our family was NOW complete. We named her Paige after much debate and family discussions. The name was picked by McKay and we immediately loved it. She came to us and has helped all of us but not only us but several of our friends have felt the attachment also. She was needed by more than our family. One family in particular she is attached to in our neighbors across the street. The Warr's, Paige sees Kaylee their 13 year old daughter as another sister and she loves Laloni as much. She loves Sundays when she gets to go to church and shake everyone's hand and get her dumdum sucker from the door greeter. She is a true blessing. My girls Amy and Sarah, what would I do without them. They are such a blessing. They are so helpful. I also profess to have the most beautiful and talented dancers. But even more than that they are smart and incredibly kind.Their thoughtfulness to others is amazing, now if they could be that way to each other I could claim they were perfect daughters. Jonathan has been an amazing missionary who will come home in about 7 weeks and I could not be more proud of him or more excited he will be home. I never realized 21 years ago that my kids would eventually leave and it causes a new kind of heartbreak. I do also realize that it's a necessary part of them growing into responsible adults. Recently I sent McKay off to college and that was even harder. I felt like I was sending him to the wolves which I still think I have, and a whole new way to worry and she'd tears has been introduced. I have decided that it would be in my kids best interest to live close enough that I can drive to see them in a relatively reasonable amount of time. Long distance in not an option.
One person I haven't mentioned once but is by far the most important one in my life is Danny, my best friend and husband who works so hard to support us and sacrifices so much time serving in the church. He is the stabilizing part of our family he keeps me somewhat grounded. We have been married for 22 years and everything good that I have has come from the decision to marry him. I love him with all my heart, and more!!
